I'm not a gemologist, a jewelry salesman, or some guy on a street corner with a briefcase full of sparkling rocks. No, I'm just a guy who had the fortune of finding the best woman in the world who I wanted to marry (I eventually did... she said "yes"). And because of that, a few years ago I had to first buy a diamond engagement ring.

The Diamond.

At some point in modern history, Diamond's rings became the de facto standard for engagement rings. Some people are bucking the trend and purchasing other fancy gem stone rings for their soon-to-be, and that's great... but guys, make sure you make sure she wants something other than a diamond first. When it comes to the wedding business, many people expect many things, and the most common custom seems to be the diamond ring that starts it all. So before you buy an alternative, make sure its what she wants, or your proposal might fizzle before it ever starts. I have nothing against other rings, but I wanted to buy the traditional ring and I think my wife expected the same, so the diamond route we went. I can't talk to anything other than that, but I'm sure with a quick Google Search you can find stories of people who successfully bucked the diamond trend.

The 4 C's.

If you are thinking about a diamond engagement ring, keep reading. In fact, you probably have already done some reading... and you've probably already heard about the 4 C's of diamonds. I'll give you an overview and then tell you why its importance is nothing more than your perspective.

1. CUT. The "cut" refers to how well the diamond was cut or shaped by the jeweler to make the polished diamond you see. Cut is the most important factor in determining a diamonds brilliance or sparkle. A poorly cut stone will make even a flawless diamond appear dull. A diamond with an ideal cut will have the right depth, width and height for its shape and have facets of appropriate size and scale in order to maximize the sparkle of the stone.
2. COLOR. Color is another important factor in determining a diamond's perceived value. Traditionally a diamond close to colorless is preferred, however there are some colors (pink, canary yellow) that are in fashion. Unless you are looking for a fashion color stone, expect your diamond to be as close to colorless as possible, rated D-J.
3. CLARITY. A diamond's clarity is rated on a sliding scale based on how many defects or inclusions are within the stone. Jewelry quality diamonds for engagement rings should be rated on a scale from FL to SI2 (explained below). The closer to FL (flawless) your diamond is, the less flaws or defects are present in the store. Clarity plays a large part in the cost of a diamond.
   1. FL: Flawless. A flawless diamond has no inclusions internally or on the surface of the stone.
   2. IF: Internally Flawless: This is generally the best you can buy. A diamond rated Internally Flawless has absolutely no defects or inclusions inside the stone of any kind but may have a negligible scratch or polishing mark on the surface.
   3. VVSI1 and VVSI2: Very, Very Slightly Included. A diamond rated VVSI1 or VVSI2 will have only the slightest of marks or inclusions internally, barely visible at 10x magnification. These are generally the highest rated stones at most jewelry stores.
   4. VSI1 and VSI2: Very Slightly Included. A diamond rated VSI1 or VSI2 may have defects or inclusions not generally visible to the untrained eye. Because they are significantly cheaper than higher rates stones but most people don't notice their internally flaws or inclusions, VSI1 and VSI2 diamonds are commonly considered to be great values for engagement ring purchasers.
   5. SI1 and SI2: Slighly Included. A diamond rated SI1 or SI2 will have internal defects or inclusions that may be visible to the untrained eye with or without magnification.
   6. I1, I2, I3: Included. Diamonds rated I1 or below may be sold by jewelry stores for engagement rings, but most people would recommend against diamonds with these clarity ratings for engagement ring purposes. These diamonds have multiple and obvious internal defects or inclusions and are best reserved for other types of jewelry or other purposes altogether.
4. CARAT WEIGHT. A diamond's carat weight is the most commonly referred measurement when someone is talking about diamonds because larger diamonds are significantly more rare than smaller ones. However, carat weight should not be your primary point of focus when choosing the right diamond for your engagement ring. It might make you feel special to say you have a large ring, but size is no substitute for sparkle. A large diamond with poor cut, poor color and poor clarity will not look nearly as good as a smaller stone with better characteristics. The best thing to do is weigh all of the factors and find the right mix of cut, clarity, color and carat weight that fits in your budget.

Why you should forget everything you just read.

Now that I've told you how to get a feel for a diamond's value, forget it. And if you don't forget it, at least don't give it as much importance as the jewelry stores do (or that I just did). A diamond ring is a symbol. It represents the precious nature and infinite value of your relationship and the promise of an unbreakable and forever bond. It is quite possible that you weren't cut like a roman God or Goddess, don't weigh exactly what you want, have a few blemishes here or there and aren't as tan as you'd like. But your value isn't any less because of it. And the symbol of your bond or the marriage you are proposing won't be any less if your diamond isn't perfect.

So forget about all of that stuff. Find out what your soon-to-be fiancee likes and go from there. Does she like vintage or antique style jewelry, or would she prefer something more contemporary? Does she prefer a simple solitaire setting, or would she like her diamond to have "friends" (other smaller diamonds around the center diamond or on the band). Would she prefer gold, white gold, or platinum for the setting? Does she want something completely unique? Making her happy is the most important thing, and her smile will trump all of the 4 C's and anything else the jewelry sales person tells you.

Conflict Free Diamonds.

If you have done any research into diamonds at all, two things should become ever apparent. First, a diamond's monetary value is inflated by diamond cartels and large companies who restrict the flow of quality diamonds into the market to maximize their profits. Its a fact of life and something you just have to accept if you are planning on buying a diamond engagement ring. Second, countless people have died and wars are currently being waged in Africa over diamond resources, or the profits from diamond mining are being used to fund greater genocides and atrocities. This is where the term "conflict diamond" or "blood diamond" comes from. Many countries and the United Nations have taken a stand and formalized policy or levied sanctions trying to prevent the purchase of conflict diamonds, and most reputable jewelry stores will offer you some information or a guarantee that their diamonds are "conflict-free". While the jewelry store is likely making a valiant effort to insure its stones are conflict free, there really can be no 100% guarantee. There is no way to look at a diamond and tell what region of the world it came from. My advice is to rely on the jewelry store who is relying on someone else and hope everyone down the chain was professional and ethical enough to be honest. Is there a chance your diamond came from a conflict zone? Yes, but it is small if you purchased it from a jeweler who guarantees their diamonds are conflict-free. Buy from someone without a "conflict-free" guarantee and all bets are off.

Shop Around and Look for a Return Policy.

There are many places you can buy an engagement ring. From the local jewelry store to an online service like Diamond.com, to a "Diamond's Direct" type merchant, to the classifieds or craigslist. Jewelry prices vary from store to store and region to region, so it pays to look in multiple places. And don't be afraid to haggle, many physical jewelry stores and local merchants will be willing to negotiate the price of a diamond ring or other jewelry if you approach it right. Once you've shopped around a bit, buy from the place you are most comfortable with, but make sure wherever you buy that there is a formal and written return policy for at least a week. Any reputable jewelry store or online seller will give you this, at least for the diamond itself if not the setting as well (don't have the setting engraved yet). This return period will allow you to get the ring appraised by a third-party and verify that you actually received the quality diamond you are paying for. Personally, I bought my wife's engagement ring online and I couldn't have been happier. Clarity and Cut were the most important factors to me, and so I bought an ideally cut princess ring that was internally flawless. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't find a diamond with similar specs at a local store. What's important to you might be different and that's fine... but look at multiple alternatives and don't be afraid to look online.

Get it appraised.

After you find the perfect ring, get it appraised. I know that might seem unnecessary as your diamond likely came with a certification from some institute (GIA, AGS, etc). That certification will describe your diamond and guarantee the quality of the individual stone, but it will not provide a monetary value. Your purchase may also come with an appraisal, but that you should take with a grain of salt. The appraisal was likely prepared by the store who sold you the diamond and thus has an incentive for making the value seem high so you think you got a good deal. It is also possible the appraisal came from another geographic region or major city, where diamond prices may differ from your local market. Rather than rely on these appraisals and certifications alone, go find another appraiser, preferably an independent appraiser who doesn't sell jewelry or diamonds at all and thus has no financial stake or incentive to give you an inaccurate value.

If you can't find an independent appraiser, you should either keep looking or get more than one opinion. Be wary of jewelry store appraisers, especially those who work in consignment jewelry stores as they will likely charge you for the appraisal only to try and convince you to buy a different ring from them and return your existing diamond or sell it on consignment through there store. That's exactly what happened to me when I took the engagement ring I had just purchased to one of the largest consignment jewelry stores in our area for an appraisal. I paid them $50 to try to sell me something else. What a rip off.

Don't Second Guess Yourself.

You will likely spend weeks even months trying to find out what your soon-to-be fiancee wants and then finding the perfect diamond ring to match. Once you buy it, STOP RESEARCHING DIAMOND RINGS. You just made a large purchase, likely one of if not the largest purchase you've ever made. It is not unusual that you will second guess the purchase. Maybe you should have bought a bigger ring? Maybe the setting should have been different? Maybe you should have spent more or less? Let it go. You did your homework, you made your decision and you bought a ring based on the love you have for your future wife. Now quit stressing over it and plan your proposal!